Thursday, May 29, 2014

Why do people hate love?

Being in love is the greatest feeling I've experienced.  It's wonderful to know that I have an incredible woman with whom to share affection, intimacy, laughs, and memories.  It's great to know I have someone who not only encourages my endeavors, but also supports me and works with me as I do them.  She has encouraged my weight loss and my writing.  She has advocated for my child.  She has done so much for me and with me, I can't imagine life without her now.

Most people think it's just fine that I feel this way about another woman, but what if I felt this way about another man?  There would be people who actually found this attraction disgusting.  Why?  It's still love.  What's to hate?  When someone finds this kind of happiness in another human being, we should be celebrating, not hating.  It's so rare to find someone so compatible with whom we can be intimate, it's hard to understand why anyone would want to deprive another human being of that sort of experience.  In fact, I consider it cruel and heartless to work against such a bond between consenting adults.

Why do they hate?  Some use religion as the excuse say they "love the sinner, not the sin."  There are many problems with this line of thinking, not the least of which includes the fact that most of the people who use it have never actually read the book from which the idea of homosexuality being a sin derives.  The Bible describes many things as sin that we wouldn't give a second thought about today, including eating shellfish, wearing clothes made of blended fabrics, shaving men's faces, and getting tattoos, just to name a few.  This same book calls for the penalty of death for things like drunkenness, adultery, blasphemy, and working on the Sabbath, but nobody punishes people for these things in American society today.  Yet, they focus on homosexuality, which does no harm to anyone--but the hatred, ostracism, and societal pressure against homosexuality does harm those who are attracted to members of the same sex.

The problem with using religion as an excuse in the United States is that imposition of one's religion on others is a violation of their Free Exercise, which is protected by the First Amendment.  People are allowed to believe--or not believe--as they choose, so imposing religious ideology on others goes against the spirit of the Constitution.  I don't think any of the cases that examine the rights of same-sex couples have taken a First Amendment approach; they seem to focus on Equal Protection, which comes from the Fourteenth Amendment.   The case is simply more solid, since it's difficult to prove that religion is the motivation behind bans of same-sex marriage without religious language in the laws.  Having laws that only heterosexual citizens can enjoy violates Equal Protection pretty explicitly.  Here is a list of legal benefits married couples enjoy:

Some say homosexuality is not natural, but it has been observed in over 1500 species, not just ours.  Some say that marriage between homosexuals is pointless, because they can't reproduce.  They actually can, through artificial insemination of lesbian women and surrogate mothers for gay men, for example.  Their reproductive organs still work.  That aside, heterosexual couples can get married, but remain childless.  Heterosexuals who have no ability to reproduce whatsoever, due to vasectomy, tubal ligation, or hysterectomy, can get married without issue, and nobody seems to care.  Reproduction aside, loving couples can adopt children if they want, and what's wrong with bringing children into a loving home?

Finally, there's the argument about how marriage of same-sex couples will destroy "traditional" marriage, by which they mean marriage between one man and one woman.  These same people talk about the sanctity of marriage.  If marriage is so solid and sacred, why are half of them ending in divorce?  Homosexuals being married will do nothing to destroy marriage; marriages are destroyed through financial problems, dishonesty, infidelity, drinking, drug problems, and strong disagreements over all sorts of issues, but over marriage between members of the same sex?  It's a patently ridiculous argument.  "Hey, honey, look at that couple over there.  They're gay!  How terrible for our marriage."  Really?  How so?  How does their love make you hate each other, or even love each other less?  Their love should make you warm and happy inside, and in celebrating it, make your bond with your significant other stronger.  You should reflect on why they love each other, and in so doing, reflect on why you love your significant other.  Love should be a celebration, not a cause for alarm.

I strongly support love, whatever form it takes, between consenting adults.  That's why I want to have a place where couples can go without hassle to get married, regardless of sexual orientation.  Please support me in this mission.

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